Accepting and trusting your voice as an INFJ


INFJs tend to have a high symbolical importance in the world. Its not because of how we dress, not because of what we earn, and not for having a lot of political power, but it is because of our ideas. As NFs we are frontrunners, visionaries of change. We use our power to channel ideas and visions and theories and speculation. 

Still, young INFJs may grow up fearing their own power. As communicators, people care about what we believe. We are naturally argumentative, but not dictative types. We do not order but we argue. Our influence is soft, but not weak. Our voice is captivating in its friendliness and we naturally get people to lower their guard. We know how we affect other people, and we want our effect to come from understanding, not projections. 

We become peoples diplomats. The ones that translate our friends hidden needs to the world. Diplomats of the people who become important in our lives. Still, a lot of INFJs fear influencing other people in a negative way. With power comes responsibility, and if you dont mind your voice, you may begin to feel guilty, as if your arguments and ideas, no matter how subtle, came to cause major issues and troubles in peoples lives. 

Under your influence, people may have come to made bad choices, and because you chose to intervene and give people advice, you can now feel responsible for another persons happiness or misery. That can be difficult. 

So a lot of INFJs stay out of it. They fear talking. What if their words are misunderstood? What if our guidance becomes misjudged? What if our vision does not come to pass? Will we have spoken in vain? As an INFJ you need a strong code of conduct but also an acceptance of this responsibility. 

Yes, even INFJs who say nothing can have a negative impact on other people. If you hold down your tongue, you will find others trying to guess what you think, and that only increases the chance of miscommunication. So hising is no option. INFJs are present, even when hidden away. 

And most of all, INFJ, you need to show people that you care. Even if your caring may occassionaly be misplaced, it is better to love and to be misunderstood, than to not love at all. And you hurt people more by holding back your love than loving foolishly. Now, your challenge is to love with, and thanks to your intuition, to love, but to take your much needed time for privacy, to love, but to maintain your energy and sense of self. To love, and to become wise thanks to your ability to love and understand. To not hide away out of love for others, but to stand before others, and to love, even when we dont know what to do or how to truly help other people. Send this message to your INFJ friends who need to embrace their feeling. 

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About Erik Thor

I am an INFJ and I want to combat the stereotypes and help promote personality psychology that doesn’t limit or mistype you.