What are you torn between based on your Enneagram type?


Enneagram 1: You are torn between what you want, and your thirst for adventure and greatness. Because of your need for thrill, stimulation, and adventure, the ideas you have may be too grandiose to fullfil in just one lifetime. You think, if it’s not grand, if it’s not an adventure, it’s not worth wanting. You may feel dissatisfied because what you create does not live up to the ideal or the romantic notion of what you set out to create.  And sometimes you might find yourself wanting something that is not “great” or romantic enough. And sometimes what you dream of turns out not to be as great as you thought it would be. What can you do to bring balance between your heart and your desires?

Enneagram 2: You are torn between your desire to be right and good, and your desire to love and be loved. You might have in your head that something is right, and then you want your loved ones to have what you feel is best. But other people might not agree with you that that is what is right for them. And you may worry that they will get hurt if they don’t listen to you, but you might also hurt them by pushing what you want on them. That’s the dilemma for Enneagram 2. 

Enneagram 3: You are torn between your ambitions and your heart and your desire to love and be loved. You believe that, to be worthy of love, you have to be successful and hard-working. Love to you may be to deliver money to your family, or to get your audience to laugh at a joke, or to entertain or to impress. And when you’re not impressive, you feel unloved, and when you’re too impressive, and people get jealous of you, that can make you feel cut off from love you feel that you deserve. Are you good enough just the way you are? Are we all worthy of love or are some worthy of more than others? 

Enneagram 4: You are torn between your heart and your values, and your thirst for adventure and romance. You might be a little innocent, unwilling to address that what you want and what is smart does not always go hand in hand. You may be a little turned off real love, and more preoccupied by the dream of what it is. 

Enneagram 5: You are torn between your head and your desire to be right, and your need to think things through. You might be clouding your judgement by only entertaining thoughts that you think are correct or valuable. You might be a little narrow minded in your pursuit for knowledge that is of value, and dismissing thoughts and feelings and sentiments outside of this. There may be hidden value that you miss out on by doing so. You might know that something is interesting to you, but your need to be smart may keep you from it. What is this something?

Enneagram 6: You’re torn between your need for stability and peace, and your need to think things through. Consider how, by always thinking about how you upset stability and peace, or how other people upset it, you may drift further away from the peace that you seek, constantly on edge, responding to and intercepting potential threats to your safety and peace. 

Enneagram 7: You’re torn between your need to think things through, and your need for adventure, causing your thoughts to race through you, what-ifs, whats-nexts, and what-could-bes. Consider that, by thinking too much, you might be spoiling the fun in different situations. Overthinking can make something less fun. But just rushing in without thinking, can also attract trouble. Where are you on that spectrum? 

Enneagram 8: You’re torn between your gut, your anger, and what you want, and your high ambitions. There may be things that you desire that are not grand, ambitious, or “great” enough. These things, you may be setting aside. But they can also lead to a dissatisfaction or anger over life as-is. You’re working hard and growing and becoming more and more successful, but are you becoming more happy and satisfied? Where does ambition and desire meet and where do they break off? How can you balance the equation?

Enneagram 9: You’re torn between your gut, what you want, and your need for peace and stability. You have things you desire and dream of, but you might not want to upset anyone by taking it for yourself. You may be compromising your own interests by only thinking of what other people want. Or you’re causing tension and conflict by only going for what you desire and at the same time feeling like you are causing conflict around you.

The social instinct: You’re torn between your ambitions and your instincts and your fear of being exposed or isolated. You may think that you may only be worthy of safety if you work hard and live up to the expectation of your community and the obligations presented in it. This can however keep you from greatness and success in your ambitions. 

The sexual instinct: You’re torn between your desire to be a good and valuable person, and your need to feel safe and secure with someone. Sometimes you might think only someone else and their love can give you “value” when in fact, you are valuable just the way you are. You might be compromising your needs to fit with and to attract the love and attention of someone else.

The self-preservation instinct: You’re torn between in particular your need for stability and peace and your instincts and your overall “read” of a situation. You may be compromising what you see or feel pulled towards intuitively for your need for maintaining peace and harmony with your friends, family, or your community. Perhaps you’re too drawn to safety?

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About Erik Thor

I am an INFJ and I want to combat the stereotypes and help promote personality psychology that doesn't limit or mistype you.