Deep connection and strong interests and being completely engaged with something
Disconnection and feeling cut off, to be held back from what you love.
Doer, Fixer, Optimist, Creative
Sx/So: The Sweetheart Sx/Sp: The Player
The Lover (Enneagram Sx – The Sexual Instinct)
Lovers are characterised by strong instincts and deep interests and hobbies. They have strong pulls and addictive personalities, they don’t just feel it out with their toes, they dive right in. They thrive on deep connection and want to know and be fully engaged with their interests. The Lovers are sometimes intense in how deep and how quick they can get into something.
They struggle with taking time for other things and remembering to do other important tasks and may sometimes forget about their most important values while they are engaged with an activity. They may take moral shortcuts at times and can sometimes ignore what they know is right because they feel such a strong pull towards their hobby.
Common traits: Attractive, Intense, Extraordinary, Rare, Unusual, Distant
When you are an Enneagram Sx, you are typically driven to work to protect and to serve someone or something you love. You perhaps have a project, a baby, or a friend that you care highly for. As a lover, you’re typically committed and secure. You stand firm by the people you care for and pride yourself on being there for them when they need you.
A Lover is someone that will understand others and be there for others. At times however, the enneagram sx struggles with being overly accusing of flaws, and working overly hard to fit themselves with the person they desire. They may also be at risk of excusing flaws in the people they like, and pretending problems aren’t there, and like the project, person, or object of their desire is somehow perfect.
The sexual type is prone to idealising the person they love – and fears losing this person they idealise. The lover will often feel insecure and ashamed, as they feel they don’t meet the value or lack the qualities of the person they admire. There is a need here in the lover to gain a higher appreciation of self and to reach a more humane view of others. But the lover has many qualities worthy of admiration – such as their ability to do anything for the ones they care about.