Your mind has the ability to weave stories, to understand characters, social contexts, qualities, and nuances. You can imagine figures and symbols, and you can dream. The ability to weave stories while remaining footed in the objective experience, in the people around you, in their actions, symbols, rituals, and words, is feeling extroversion. (EXFX)
Interpersonal intelligence is the ability to understand the meanings, symbols, and actions of the people around you. What do people mean? What do they want? And what do they dream of? A feeling extrovert is highly motivated by awareness of people’s motives and by knowing who they are in every situation. Because of this, we call the extroverted feeling types “The Actors”.
Nickname: The Actor
Primary desire: To understand people and how they work.
Neuroscience: The ability to use the storytelling network and the bottom-up network effortlessly and in a positive way.
Core fear: Misunderstanding someone else
Inspired by: Artists
Grounded by: Scientists
Variations: ENFPs, ESFPs, ENFJs, and ESFJs
Jungian term: Extroverted Feeling
Key motivations: Learning more about others, gaining knowledge of what is appropriate, beautiful, good, and right and wrong.
What is Extroverted Feeling
The more an extroverted feeling type knows about others, the more inspired they are to act. An EXFX also takes great value in learning more about others and in coming to understand more about the objective story we are all being a part of. An EXFX understands that they are a person that is different in every situation. That they have many different masks and that their personality changes in every situation or environment. This can be a cool, but sometimes confusing realization.
Because of their value of it and because of how effortless it is for EXFX types to use this function, they tend to gain high interpersonal intelligence over time. EXFX can become natural actors, as they can live in the social moment, thinking instantly of how they want to respond or react to a persons thoughts or actions. Actors have this urge to always get the “final word” in any conversation. To always respond to and add their own mark to every experience or action. To vibe off every situation.
Extroverted feeling has sometimes traditionally been associated with compromising your own personality to fit in with others. To keep quiet about your own feelings and to passively echo out how others feel. To compromise what you like and to instead feel what other people feel. And to do what is appropriate, instead of what you think is right. But in the Neojungian system, extroverted feeling is instead to be able to do what you feel is right and to learn about what you feel is right in the situation. The stereotypes about extroverted feeling are wrong. They only reflect extroverted feeling when it is unhealthy in a person. Not when it is something positive and when it is used by someone healthy.
The Actors can be socially witty and are easily able to adapt to any group or environment. They don’t adapt by doing what everyone else expects of them. Actors adapt by realizing out who they want to be in every moment. For example, who am I in a conflict? Who am I when I am with this person? Who am I when I am in this group? Actors always know what they want to do in response to other people’s social signals. It is easier for them to be aware of how they feel in the middle of a social experience, when close to other people. Then, their gut always fills them in on how they feel, and they can move free flow with the other people.
As an actor, you know who likes you, and who dislikes you. You know when you fit in, and you know when you don’t fit in. You can probably also identify a reason why you don’t. An EXFX can find things that they connect to in others, and things that they don’t connect with. Your interpersonal intelligence always gives you an idea about how well you are getting along with another person or group.
Actors can easily identify how they feel about other people, what they like, what they dislike, and what they resonate with. The extroverted feeling types vibe of other people, and are aware of peoples looks, expressions, and social signals. They reflect on how other people act, feel, and behave, and know instinctively how they feel about it in themselves.
Interpersonal intelligence can give skills in many situations in life, including social awareness, social feedbacking, and social judgement. Let us talk about these three skills.
Actors have awareness of different people, groups, and the values in different groups. They understand people’s social codes, and what other people want and feel. They are able to read and interpret others actions quickly and instinctively. And they always have some hunch or idea about how other people feel about them and what is happening in every situation.
Actors know what they resonate with, what they like, and what they dislike in each situation. They instantly share feedback on if they like or dislike other people, and what they like or dislike in every moment. EXFXs are good at recognizing people and finding things they relate to. They don’t need to think about whether they like something or not, they know what they feel, when they see it.
Actors know how they can vibe of every social situation, what they can say in response, how they can act and relate, and what they can do in this moment to fit with what they feel in the moment. As an actor, you understand how to respond to others feelings and to the situation. There is this ability in you to know what is appropriate, and you don’t even need to think about it, you know it instinctively.
Actors have the ability to teach and guide others on these issues as well, sharing information about other people. They can make you up to date on whats new with others, who’s dating who, and what is going on in everyone’s lives. They can also share how you are doing or what others think about you.