Relationships


Some websites argue for one relationship dynamic, where other websites have other ideas. There are some relationship dynamics that are more popular, and I will list the four most common options in order below:

Muses (-++-) ex: ENTP and INTJ

A muse is a huge driver of growth in us, at the expense of exposing us to things we are vulnerable or sensitive towards. Often, the muse will push us to confront fears, anxieties, and things we feel ashamed or insecure about.

Muses share our values and what we are passionate about, but explore these topics in a different way. There are a lot of practical bumps in this relationship on a practical level, in terms of different functions, adding to the challenge of this dynamic. But it remains one of the most popular long-term dating choices I've observed. 

  • Lifestyle & Function differences: Differences in how you think, communicate and remember information can cause conflicts at times.
  • Strong conflicts: We tend to have stronger conflicts with this type than most other types in times of stress and anxiety, when your partners repressed issues can be projected on you. 

Defenders (----) ex: ISTJ and ENFP

A defender will always have our back. Typically, we are drawn to them out of a sense of idealisation, if we can recognise their strengths and differences in comparison to us. The similarities in how you think and your ability to recognise yourself in the other person become a strength here. The other person is "easy" to navigate and manage during stress and difficult situations. Differences in values may however cause conflicts and tensions and at times the person may appear to be inhibiting or keeping you from pursuing your passions.

This used to be the most popular choice in times when men and women were more segregated and worked in different places and roles. More common when you want to "settle down."

At it's worst

The biggest conflicts with this type tend to centre around values and choices. Who wins and who loses when it's time to decide on a vacation, career plans, and family issues? Compromise is important here.

Co-heroes (++++) Ex: INFP and INFP

The third most common relationship. Often popular in Strivers, people with strong career, relationship or athletic ambitions, and in people who feel a little "burnt out" with the world. Co-heroes share your core values and temperaments and there is a strong recognition and easiness in getting along with the person.

The core struggle of identicals is driving growth and balance in both parties and ensuring both can take a step forward and express themselves. Most common early in life, when you are more interested in finding yourself.

Core issues

Dividing power: Ensuring both partners feel happy and free and that both feel they are able to express themselves freely without being supervised by the other. In identical relationships, at times, jealousy can become an issue, as one person feels that the other grows at the expense of them, or takes over.

Champions (-+--) (ex: ENTP & INFJ)

A champion shares your core hobbies and interests but has often different values and ethics. The champion is an "inspiring protector"  The champion is protective on a rational level, and a muse on the irrational level. Someone that can bring up new thoughts and perspectives in areas of interest while guarding and reigning you in on another level.

Core issues: 

Difficulty setting: It can be hard to keep up if your partner is on a different level than you.
Differences in ethics: You may find it hard to agree with your partners choices.
Functional differences: Your communication and reasoning will be easy to follow, but their choices and actions can be harder to understand.

Other relationships

Mentor/Mentee: In +++- relationships, one person, usually the more experienced, will usually serve as the mentor, and the other as the mentee. This person is usually a relaxing oasis and a centring point.
Co-pilots: In -+++ relationships, you'll meet someone who pushes you on and drives you forward. Strongly proactive pairing, but a tendency to drive you "out of centre". 
Successors: These people share the same temperament as you (++-+) and similar interests and hobbies, but have a different outlook on how to best get the job done. Often, they will seek to succeed over you or help you succeed in spite of their critical perception of your flaws.
Sidekicks: In ++-- relationships, you will meet someone who serves as a secure grounding point and a place to centre yourself, but also a fact-checker, tester, and a person to help see your ideals merits. 
Empowerers: You'll perceive these people (-+-+) as strong and capable and everything you dream of being, what you wish you were. And they'll see you that way too!
Princes/ses: These people (+-+-) have some core value that you wish to protect or preserve. They represent something important in yourself that you want to remind yourself of.
Nobles: These people (--++) have attained a level of success and status that you dream of and wish to mimic but their methods and their actions and lifestyle frustrates you at the same time.
Madonnas: A madonna is something or someone that we find to be alluring and that we tend to idealise or feel drawn to. They are important to us, but we also see them as somewhat primitive.
Companions: These people share our temperament (+--+) and are easy to be around. They function in a way completely opposed to us and have different values, but we still feel at peace around them.
Caregiving: An +-++ type tends to be caregiving and nurturing to us. They are easy to be around and they tend to help us, but they also tend to feel slightly oblivious to our true needs, and sometimes smothering.
Squires: A +--- type tends to represent true dispassionate wit and insight and impartial reasoning. We expect these types to be brutally honest with us when nobody else is.