Love Languages: How The Different Types Love
No type is more or less capable of love than any other. Love is an involuntary reflex – either we feel it, or we don’t. But everyone shows and expresses love differently. Because we’re used to one form of love, we may not realize that other people love us, even when they do. Learn each type’s love languages and you will be able to see layers you may have frequently forgotten.
Perhaps the most fascinating thing about love is how it gives us bravery to step outside our comfort zone. When we love, we can do things that would normally frighten us or cause us stress. Love can in many ways bring great growth and a chance to rise beyond our past issues. And love is also in many ways an experience of integration: we see the world in richer depth, and in higher nuance, than we did before we felt love.
Love no matter how small should be nurtured, be it love for animals, nature, friends, family, or a significant other – it is always important to growth and happiness. In times when love is tested and when stress and anxiety is high, always try to rise to the best. Try to be vulnerable, and know that if you succeed, you will be rewarded.
FPs “The Reporters”
Love language: Impressions (This is the secondary love language for a TJ / Architect type)
Writing about, thinking about, and talking to people about what or who I love and what is important to me.
- Will you share your truth and your story with me?
- Would you tell me who you really are, even if it is bad?
- Are you going to let me do my own thing?
How a reporter shows love for others:
I will share your story in an open and positive way. And I will find something positive in your flaws.
Besides this, I will not back away if I learn something bad about you. I will always want to learn more about you.
Lastly, I won’t kill your character or harm your reputation even if I am angry with you. I will always want others to see the good in you.
FJs “The Messengers”
Love language: Expressions (This is the secondary love language for a TP / Hacker type)
I will be a person that inspires you and helps you and surprises you
- Will you understand my ideals?
- Are you going to support my dream?
- Will you be a part of my dream?
How a messenger shows love for others:
No matter what, I will try to be the best version of myself with you. I will share my “real” image and face with you.
I will speak out for you and defend you if other people are getting on your toes. And I will fight for you.
If necessary, I will think about how my words and actions impact you. I will be honest with you without hurting you.
TPs “The Hackers”
Love language: Mastery (This is the secondary love language for an FJ / Messenger type)
A hacker will learn everything about their partner and how they work.
- Will you share your flaws and difficulties with me?
- Will you let me know what your plan and your goal is, so I can help you?
- And will you take my advice into consideration, will you let me “win” if I deserve it?
How a hacker shows another person love:
I will let you make a completely illogical decision. And I will tell you if I know something isn’t going to work.
If you challenge me, I will work hard to study and learn so that I can impress you later. I will share new methods and ideas with you when I find them.
If you ask me to, I wont run away if things get tough, I will try to make the best of whatever hand you give me.
TJs “The Architects”
Love language: Ambition (This is the secondary love language for an FP / Reporter type)
An architect will do everything to help their love on the way to their goals, giving them the resources and means to achieve success, whatever that means to the other person.
- Will you trust me to set up a way forward?
- Will you tell me if my decision is good?
- And will you help me if I am wrong?
How an architect shows other people love:
I will let you try to do it, too. I will share my fortune and fame with you. And I will let you know how I did it.
No, I won’t force you to do something if you’re not ready to do it. I will show you the power you have if you don’t see it.
If you’re struggling with something, I will ask you what you need so that you can get through your issue.
ENs “The Detectives”
Love language: Inspiration (This is the secondary love language for an IS / Instructor type.)
A detective will make the recipient of their love a part of their every idea and possibility.
- Will you come with me, even if I don’t know where we’re going?
- Will you try my solution out, even if it probably won’t work?
- And will you take my worries and fears into consideration?
How a detective shows other people love:
I will be patient even if there are no clear, immediate ways forward. If you’re open, I will share new opportunities and new possibilities with you before I share it with anyone else.
I will follow you even if I don’t like where you are headed. If you want to hear it, I will find a solution or a way forward for you no matter how hard it is to find.
I will trust you even if the evidence suggests the worst. And I will show you alternative ways when you’re headed towards a bad place.
INs “The Philosophers”
Love language: Existential (This is the secondary love language for an ES / Scout type)
A philosopher will think long and hard about how they can find solutions to the other persons deeper and more complex problems.
- Will you be patient with me even when I am uncertain about something?
- Will you let me think for a minute before I try out your idea?
- And will you listen to me if I share my ideas and theories with you?
How a philosopher shows others love:
I will keep moving forward with you even if I don’t know where it will lead.
Even if what you request feels impossible, I will take it into consideration.
I will take your ideas into consideration even if it contradicts my own beliefs.
ESs “The Scouts”
Love language: The present (This is the secondary love language for an IN / Philosopher type)
Scouts will always have their eyes on you, looking at and studying your presence. They will share the present with you, showing you everything good they find in the world.
- I will make this moment the best it can possibly be
- Will you enjoy the moment with me?
- And will you see how amazing the present is?
How a scout shows you love:
If you want to, I will let you be a part of every minute of my life.
I will share everything pleasant I find with you.
And I will show you the beauty and pleasure of every moment.
ISs “The Instructors”
Love language: The past (This is the secondary love language for an EN / Detective type)
Instructors will preserve and remember everything you do, taking photos, writing down, and reciting it so that it can be enjoyed in the future.
- Will you let us do this again in the future?
- And will you remember this moment with me?
- Are you going to think of me when the moment is gone?
How an instructor shows you love:
I will try to make sure this will happen again.
I will remember this moment in rich detail.
And I will think of this again, and again, and again.
There are many love languages. Try to embrace all love you receive. Sometimes, we don’t feel worthy of others’ love; then the challenge is to learn to accept and appreciate the love others give us. Sometimes, others’ love can feel demanding or smothering. And sometimes, we can’t give back the love others give us; then the challenge is to not reject the love we have been given, but to redirect and help the person get the love they seek in return.