Modern culture is transforming something that could be fun and nice to something that we associate with pressure and stress. Too many people feel pressured to be extroverted, and it is making even extroverts feel fed up with extroverted culture.
That you always need to have the sound on your phone in case somebody calls. Imagine feeling that you need to reply immediately in case somebody writes you. Thinking that you need to go out or do something whenever someone else has a plan. Assuming you must be in the middle of the room and that you must participate in the conversation.
I think even Extroverts struggle with the social pressure of the modern society. Even they complain that they’re simply not getting enough space or alone time. Even they feel the pressure. We expect a swift reply when we write somebody – but we hate being expected to reply quickly when other people write us. That’s the problem with the modern society.
What is the Extroverted Culture?
The extroverted culture is when job applications say you need to be outgoing, fast-paced, and good at performing under pressure. It can also be when your boss feels the need to bring you aside for a talk if you ever choose to sit by yourself. It’s when people think you are weird for going alone to the cinema or sitting by yourself at a restaurant having dinner. I mean why not?
I think in many countries and social cultures there’s a feeling that you should not enjoy alone time. That it’s wrong to be happy by yourself. That it’s weird to be okay with silence. These kinda ideas are what have brought on the “Introverted Revolution” with books like Quiet becoming top-sellers. What’s strange is – even Extroverts are buying these books in bulk. They’re also fed up with it. I mean, nobody enjoys social interaction when it feels forced or pressured. We all feel our boundaries have become overran by impossible social expectations.
Being annoyed with forced social interactions does not make you an Introvert. Everyone needs a break. I even see the resident ESFJ at work sit by herself once in a while. How else would you get time to focus? If you’re constantly talking with others, you’ll never get anything done. In fact, EXXJs are some of the most likely types to stand up and say “Everybody shut up, don’t talk to me, I need to get some work done.” Listen up, readers. That’s what boundaries sound like.
Everyone is Ambiverted
The golden rule for psychology is everyone is ambiverted, meaning a vast majority of the population is closer to the midline of the scale on introversion and extroversion, with only a small minority being clearly Introverted, or clearly Extroverted. That means most people are more Ambiverted than they are Introverted or Extroverted.
I’m an INFJ-Ni/Nj subtype. That means I score as an outgoing Introvert. I am slightly on the scale towards introvert – but I’m close to the middle. I know ENFPs that are so strong in Perceiving, Rebelliousness and Individualism, so high in fact that they score very low on Extroversion, or even test as Introverted.
Extroversion should be about enjoying engaging and working with other people. Appreciating having people to talk to and collaborate with. Finding it nice to be able to meet up with people and to go out. Not wanting to sit in front of a computer all day. Getting bored if you have to sit still for too long. Liking to have something to do. It shouldn’t be feeling forced to engage with or work together with people you don’t like. Having to reply quickly or rush to meet or engage with others. Needing to always answer the phone or accommodate other people’s needs.
Extroverted culture is making everyone want to be an Introvert, and taking the fun out of something that can be energising and positive.