One of my readers came to me yesterday with a few fascinating questions about the ENFP Personality Type. I am going to answer them briefly, and then I am going to explain them more in depth for you.
Are ENFPs Naive?
Are ENFPs People-Pleasers?
Are ENFPs Melodramatic?
Only if you are melodramatic towards them, first.
These are all very good questions and they make sense when you read articles about the ENFP personality type online.
Recommended reads: Why I love ENFPs
Why ENFPs Aren’t Naive
ENFPs dream both high and low. This means ENFPs are star-seekers. They aim high and set their aims to the sky when happy and cheerful. They become critical and pessimistic under stress. This means you will see two sides to the ENFP. The normal part of them wants and thrives on the unrealistic ideal. They want the best things possible in the world for themselves and for other people.
The darker part of them knows they are being unrealistic – and is constantly picking apart everything they do. So how are you going to do that? I can’t see how you would fare any better this time than usual. Once again, you’re setting yourself up to fail. ENFPs past their teenage years have developed a relationship to this voice and so they are able to think highly critically about their own ideals. They know, after some point of growth and maturity, that their dreams can only happen if they work hard for it and set some rules for themselves.
The paradox of the ENFP is that they wear rose coloured glasses during the day and black tinted glasses at night. They are both the rainbow and the sunshine and the moon and the darkness, it depends on if you catch them at their best, or at their worst.
Why ENFPs Aren’t People Pleasers
While Feeling types are generally more likely to be people pleasers than Thinking types, ENFPs are also Perceiving types. ENFPs that are stronger in Perceiving than they are in Feeling will show less of an inclination to “people please”. Perceiving is correlated with Individualism and Enneagram Type Four. ENFPs who are strong in Perceiving tend to be more guarded about their identity and needs. They are more likely to look out for themselves and their own beliefs.
In balanced ENFPs, I see the following trend. ENFPs are incredibly compassionate yet also extremely individualistic. They avoid nonprofit work and helping and supporting other people because they want to protect their own freedom and individuality. But they instead rely on more “free” and “open ended” ways to help and support the community. They may enjoy gift-giving and cheering up and spontaneously caring for another person. They may dislike doing chores for their loved ones and hate feeling tied down or expected to care for or have to support another person.
They are very protective of their rights and do not want to be taken advantage of or manipulated into anything. If you do not expect it, they will be highly caring to you. But if you demand it from them, they will be incredibly cold towards you.
Are ENFPs Melodramatic?
What I see with the ENFP stereotype is a picture of the ENFP as high strung, enthusiastic, crazy, free-spirited, wild, and theatrical. Many picture the ENFP as melodramatic. I think this is an Extroverted stereotype of the ENFP and less Extroverted ENFPs will disagree with this picture.
The stronger the presence of Extroverted Thinking and Extroverted iNtuition in this type, the more “reckless” this type may appear. The more Perceiving, and the more Introverted the subtype of this ENFP, the more relaxed the personality type will appear. ENFPs that are high on Perceiving tend to be more observant. That means they study and react of the room.
That is why I say, ENFPs will only be melodramatic if you are. I say it tongue in cheek, I just mean that ENFPs are not going to be aggressively melodramatic, and that they will not be theatrical unless provoked. If you do not respond to their enthusiasm or cheer, they will quickly tone it down and match your calm. If you provoke or get a rise out of them, or join them in their cheer, they will cheer more loudly too.
Read more about the ENFP Personality Type:
Are you an ENFP or an ENFP and do you identify as naive, people-pleasing, or melodramatic? Let me know in the comments below what you think about the ENFP stereotypes.