INFJ EMPATH. A large group of INFJs consider themselves Empaths. Empaths are people that are unusually accurate and perceptive in predicting human behaviour. I have built my website and YouTube channel around being able to make people feel seen and heard for the feelings and values that they possess. People regularly ask me how I was able to figure them out. Today we are going to discuss why INFJs call themselves Empaths.
Are all INFJs empaths and do INFJs possess high empathy? First of all, empathy is a skill like intelligence, and one you can develop. You gain empathy by reading books, having deep conversations with friends and family members, and by taking time to reflect on emotions.
Empathy requires you not just to be able to imagine or speculate on what other people may be feeling but also requires you to be able to accurately predict human behaviour. INFJs can often get people wrong, and it takes time to develop a degree of INFJ mind reading where you can actually understand and deal with human emotions in a healthy manner. Let's talk more about that.
INFJ Mind Reading Explained
In short, what makes an INFJ an empath is their love for getting inside the head of other people. Ignoring obvious and literal communication, INFJs focus on predicting and speculating on other people's unconscious motivation. What are a person's deeper intentions? Yo are the most important values of a person?
As an INFJ, I spend much time reflecting on and narrating imaginative interactions I have with people. I imagine a nonverbal exchange with another person where I can literally hear other people think. When I enter a room, I feel instantly connected to every person in the room, and I can physically feel other people's hidden emotions as if they were my own.
I am not always correct in judging other people for their thoughts and feelings. My personal insecurities and negative emotions can easily get in the way in the process of social reading. I can project conflicts and negativity on other people. When I am in a bad mood, I can imagine myself having a fake conflict with another person.
The Dark Side of the INFJ Empath
I want to explain that empath is not a positive or negative word, it is purely a descriptive word. It's a way of being, nothing more, nothing less. The dark side of the INFJ empath is that the INFJ will imagine other people as feeling or thinking a certain way, and that INFJs are not always correct in their judgement of other people. Beyond that, the even darker side of the INFJ is that they can take on other people's imagined or unconscious beliefs as their own, without even realising that they are doing this.
It is not uncommon for INFJs in relationships to imagine their partner as being deeply dissatisfied with them. INFJs will literally leave relationships or cut themselves off from other people as they will assume negativity in their friends or partners is the result of some unfixable flaw or problem that you have as an INFJ. You may find yourself harshly criticising yourself using the voice of your friends, family or partner.
You can get very mean to yourself, using other people as a proxy. The deeper you go in this pattern, the harder it can be to have a real conversation with the other person. It can feel like there is a mountain of negativity hidden under another person's even smallest, most simple of remarks. Your fear of facing this negativity can cause you to avoid real conversations with other people. But if you would just open up and listen to other people – what they are actually saying – you might find that much of what you thought was just pure fantasy.
The Bright Side Of INFJ Mind Reading
There are three important qualities of a healthy INFJ Empath. First, they are able to separate their own values from the values of other people. You know who you are and what you want and you can identify conflicts and differences in your values compared to other people.
Secondly, you are able to bring unconscious or nonverbal thoughts and feelings to the surface, allowing people to hear and see deeper intentions and values. You can bring conflicts to the surface and help resolve issues people didn't even know that they had. You can be a medium to help people explore their feelings and their inner world. Just remember to do it in a humble and open-minded way, where people are always given the authority to define their own identity.
Lastly, as an INFJ empath, remember yourself, and remember to also read your own mind. Be mindful of yourself and your own goals and always take time to yourself and to your own thoughts. You are not just a transmitter, you are also a sender. What do you want to broadcast to the world?
Watch my video on the INFJ empath