Feeling Judging types show the most flow when they can represent the group and the people. They tend to make the spokespeople and communicators of the people and the ones that represent and keep groups in harmony with one another.
The way I see it as an INFJ is, we make out the social glue that keeps people in good spirits with one another. We pride ourselves on being in service of others and see ourselves at our best as people who take care of and give to other people. At our worst, however, we struggle with being too focused on pleasing others.
Nicknames: The Giver, The Helper, The Diplomat
Found in flow types: ENFJ, ESFJ, ISFJ, INFJ
Intelligence: Ethical Intelligence
Feeling Judging Strengths
I believe Feeling Judging types are strong because of their ability to set the needs of others above themselves. That level of selflessness and altruism and that desire to give to other people is inspiring and should impress many. Feeling Judging types get into a flow when they can work and feel that they are doing something for others, and some of my best work has been done when I felt I was helping other people with it.
When I hear about people who struggle or who are having a bad time, or when I see somebody falling out of the group, I’m quick to come to the rescue. I talk with the silent person who sits in the back of the room, I spot the one that looks upset over something. I talk to people and I make them feel better and I help maintain the harmony and integrity of the group. I believe Feeling Judging types have a great integrity and a great sense of right and wrong, and at our best, we can act with good morals. That means, we know and respect the norms and rules that keep people happy and we form beliefs and ideals to follow based on what we feel is best for everyone.
That said, it has been an important lesson for me to learn to help myself, too. I don’t even know if I’m really there yet. Ideally, I want to be able to be myself and follow my heart and do what’s right for me too. But at my best, I’m able to create authentic and real relationships with other people.
Relationships where I can give to others, and where I can be real with other people too. So that they can give me back, what I need, so that I can continue to help them. That’s the ideal you want to strive for as a Feeling Judging type. Tell another person what you can give, and tell them what you need from them in order to be able to help them.
Feeling Judging Weaknesses
I greatly value harmony and making sure that my needs are in harmony with the needs and values of other people. I also greatly dislike conflict and going against the flow. Sometimes, I shut down my own thoughts and ideas just to avoid conflict or argument with others. This is a pattern I have seen in all feeling judging types. We have a bad habit of compromising my own needs and values to fit in with other people.
We say what we think other people want to hear. We fail to be honest because we’re afraid to hurt the feelings of other people, or afraid of causing an argument. In an argument, we often throw in our towel and let other people boss us around. Our failure to recognise our own needs and to think logically about a situation can cause us to put up with unfair treatment from other people.
This can cause selfish tidal waves, in which we do and say hurtful things, only to afterwards run away or distance ourselves from other people. This is a failed way of setting boundaries. Instead of being up front with people about what we want, we trick other people that we’re happy and that everything is fine. Then, we lash out, and we reveal the truth. This is why unhealthy feeling judging types can appear fake.