The Feeling Judging type is primarily focused by how they influence other people. You are giving and caring and you meet your emotional goals by providing support to other people. You’ll find you want to help other people through a situation and focus on the success of the group over your individual success.
You need then, honest people that are prepared to be vulnerable and to ask for their help and to depend on them. (Fp+) It makes sense then, that the worst feeling for this type is to feel undependable. They hate letting other people down and feeling weak or powerless to help others. (Tp-)
Nicknames: The Giver, The Helper, The Diplomat
Found in flow types: ENFJ, ESFJ, ISFJ, INFJ
Cognitive function: Feeling Judging (Fj)
Intelligence: Ethical Intelligence
The Giver (Feeling Judging)
Because their orientation is always on how they make other people feel, they can neglect their own emotional needs, or make their own emotional state completely dependant on their ability to help other people. Under emotional stress however, they can behave incredibly selfishly. They can then become manipulative and can behave incredibly calculating, sabotaging other people through subtle rather than direct methods. (Tp-)
This can be summed up as acts to gain sympathy from other people through self sabotage, seeking martyrhood. Because this type is very unlikely to notice this tendency in themselves, they can be prone to delusions of self-righteousness. But most of the time, they are genuinely trying to do what is best. These tendencies can be dispelled if you simply make them aware of their own behaviour.
I see Feeling Judging as the intelligence best associated with moral behaviour, what action to take that is the most good or will have the most positive results for everyone. The Giving type will primarily act in what they think is the best interest of everyone around them. They can then make careful considerations to other people and what they think other people need.
When Feeling Judging is your flow function, you always feel the most pride when you are able to do the right things for everyone. You have here a highly masculine orientation where everything is about social goals and carefully established moral principles. You have to act in tune with what you feel is right at all times.
The Ethical Intelligence
Your skill in helping and supporting others is directly tied to your ability to formulate adequate moral principles. You have to take a long time to develop and evaluate your moral principles based on how much they genuinely help other people. You also need to set another important criteria: yourself.
Can you live like this and be happy long-term, or do your moral beliefs demand too much from yourself? What do you need in order to support your behaviour long-term? What can you do to make sure that you remain consistent and dependable in your desire to do good? How can you stave off stress and negativity and fears of being used by others?
Fear of being used or fear of being “too nice” is a grounding fear of spending all your energy and emotional resources on people who do not like or want your help. It’s important that you let other people ask for you. Helping a person who does not want or asks for your help, can make other people feel invalidated. It also goes for people who ask for your help too frivolously, or guilt trip you into helping them against your own will. Ask yourself: Am I comfortable giving this away to another person? Do I still have left to spare to myself?
Beyond this, avoid a tendency to escape into easy tasks and challenges, like games and systems. While people can disappoint you, they are also your primary source of pride in life and they will provide you with the deepest sense of accomplishment. Work and career ambitions are truly secondary to this type, unless their work or career is directly tied into helping others. If you can remember that, you’re well on your way to developing your Feeling Judging.